Chosen Family
by ladlebasking
Summary: Scenes to fill in the gap in the BDM between the battle in Mr. Universe's complex and the "fixing Serenity montage". From Kaylee's perspective. A whole lot must've happened after the Operative's order to stand down to get to the point that everyone's injuries are healed and Serenity is ready for takeoff. Kaylee/Simon.
1. Chapter 1

No copyright infringement intended. This is just not-for-profit fun. Firefly and Serenity belongs to Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox Television, Universal pictures, etc. etc. etc.

My take on scenes to fill in the gap in the BDM between the battle in Mr. Universe's complex and the "fixing Serenity montage". From Kaylee's perspective. A whole lot must've happened after the Operative's order to stand down to get to the point that everyone's injuries are healed and Serenity is ready for takeoff. Life goes on for the seven remaining crew. Kaylee and Simon develop their relationship.

I changed the rating on this story from M because after reading other works out there I think this fits in the T category. Please, if it does not, let me know. I appreciate feedback. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Cheers.

* * *

Unable to hold her head up any longer, Kaylee laid back on the cold metal crate. The image of River - weapons dripping blood, reavers scattered on the floor, Alliance troops, bright backlight - burned into her mind's eye. Her breath hitched, she felt as though a heavy weight was pressing on her chest. A fuzzy, misty filter seemed to cloud her vision. Sound was distant, smothered. Consciousness slipped away.

Darkness.

Light again. Someone was calling her. Mal. Blue iris, ringed with red.

"What'd the Doc say?" Mal's voice.

"Cal-something, calofar?" Inara's.

Kaylee gasped for air. Her head dropped to the side. There was Inara, kneeling with Simon. Simon! She tried to speak but nothing happened. The Captain held a plastic needle cap in his teeth. Kaylee didn't even feel the injection. Everything was numb. Darkness encroached upon her again. But the weight seemed to lift a bit and breath began to come easier.

Dark.

Light. Bright flashes of awareness. Inara's hands, covered in blood. Simon being lifted onto a stretcher. Alliance medic, shining a light into her eyes.

Dark.

* * *

Kaylee awoke, blinking to clear the monochromatic haziness. Except for that spot of vibrant color, gold and red. Kaylee's eyes came into focus on that spot. Inara was sitting beside her.

"Hi mèi mei," Inara said softly, relief plainly washing over her face.

"Hey, 'Nara," Kaylee answered, her voice a little weak. She started to push herself up on her elbows.

"Here," Inara reached over to press a button on the side of the bed. The back rose to an incline and Kaylee resettled against it, taking in her surroundings. It was a stark medical facility, clearly Alliance by the looks of things. Jayne was passed out on the bed to her right, apparently sleeping – his mouth hung open and he was breathing steadily. His shoulder had been treated and was bandaged, his arm in a sling. And on the bed after his was Zoe, lying on her side given the wound to her back, her gaze directed at the floor in a blank stare.

Kaylee's vision blurred with tears, suddenly remembering everything. Wash. Book. Haven. Their friends, their allies. So many innocent people. Miranda. She looked at her hands, resting in her lap, and allowed the tears to freely fall. Inara shifted to sit on the side of the bed and embraced Kaylee warmly. She stroked her hair.

"Where're the others?" Kaylee said, muffled by Inara's shoulder. Pulling away, she spoke more frantically, "What's gonna happen to us? Did they…_take_ River and Simon?"

"No. No, we're okay. Bié dān xīn. We're on an Alliance cruiser. They're operating on Simon now. Actually, I should go check on River. You alright for a little while?" Inara gave her a questioning look. Kaylee nodded.

She took a deep breath to calm herself. In the doorway of the infirmary, Mal appeared just as Inara was about to step through. They smiled awkwardly and Mal stepped aside to allow Inara passage. Seeing Kaylee awake, he gave her a crooked smile and moved to the side of her bed, but not without effort - he winced a little and held a hand to his side as he gingerly walked.

"Oh, Cap'n," Kaylee said with concern, reaching out a hand to him. She took stock of his cuts and bruises. He was looking better - clearly he'd been given medical attention - but his injured eye was jarring to look upon.

"Glad you're up, lil' Kaylee," he took her hand and she sat up so she could hug him. "Be a mite careful," he warned to keep her from squeezing his ribs. "…Swords," he said under his breath and kissed the top of Kaylee's head. The two of them shared a loaded silence for a few moments.

Kaylee had so many questions. She looked at Mal plaintively, hoping he had answers.

Mal seemed to pick up on what was on her mind. He spoke in a low voice, "Serenity's bein' towed out right now, movin'er to the dock outside Mr. Universe's where we can work. If you're feelin' up to it, we'll go tomorrow, get started. They sent in a crew…to get Wash."

Kaylee couldn't help but glance over at Zoe. Her eyes were closed now, sleeping perhaps.

Mal continued, "Nothing's been said as to chargin' us with anything, or takin' any of us in. Said they're under orders to tend our hurts. Even Serenity's. It's creepifyin' – them actin' like such Samaritans. Downright qī qiāo. Seems we're free to go. An' I aim to soon as we can get Serenity flyin', 'fore they change their minds."

"What about Simon and River?" Kaylee wished he would say it plainly, whatever it was, "Alliance gonna let them go too?"

"Didn't I say 'we'? That includes them. If'n they want. I seem to remember it was Simon wanted off my boat before this whole turn of events."

"Cap'n," she admonished, "You made 'em crew but you kept 'em separate…"

"I know…" he sighed and held up a hand, "Look, he brought their troubles down on me and mine an' I was harboring a world of resentment, no mistake…Shepherd once asked me why I took in two known fugitives. And Simon asked me his own self why I came back for them that time they was snatched… the short of it is, they're family. Ain't gonna leave 'em, Kaylee, if they don't wanna be left. Whether they take us up on it, that's up to them."

Tears welled in Kaylee's eyes again, touched by his words and fearful that, indeed, the Tams would be going their own way.

Mal looked at her earnestly, "Don't like seein' your heart get broke neither."

She sniffed and rallied herself to smile a little, "We'll see. When he gets fixed up, we'll see what happens. They are, fixin'im, right? I mean, Alliance doctors is good. They got to 'im in time?"

"I reckon," Mal nodded to reassure her and sat on the empty bed next to hers. He pushed the button to set the back at an angle and swung his legs up, "You can walk? Won't get dizzy or some such?"

Kaylee stood up to try it out, "Nope. Right as rain."

"I'munna just sit here a spell. But if you take a left, down the hall, there's an observation window to the O.R. River's watchin'," he laid his head back and closed his eyes.

Kaylee's last image of River flashed before her eyes. She put her hand on the bed to steady herself. Another image to reconcile with the River she felt she knew - the River that would play with you, that would draw you a picture, that would walk the ship barefoot to better feel the hum of the engine…

Out in the corridor, Kaylee met Inara. She inclined her head to direct Kaylee's eyes to where River was sitting in the frame of a window with her knees drawn up. River gave them a sidelong glance and went back to watching the window intently. Inara smiled and continued back into the recovery ward while Kaylee steeled herself for the sight of blood and approached.

"The projectile passes through tissue, decelerates, transfers kinetic energy, dissipates. Kinetic energy increases with the square of the velocity," River's voice was almost monotone, "Higher velocity, greater disruption."

Kaylee peered into the operating room, "You mean the bullet."

River pointed to a tray off to the side of the fervently working team of medical personnel around the table. It contained a small, dark speck in a pool of blood.

"Mass is the lesser factor," River said. Then she shook her head as if to clear it and spoke more coherently, her expression dismayed, "Such a little thing. Does so much damage."

Kaylee hugged her arms to her chest, worried for Simon. She wanted to hug _River_, to comfort her the way she'd seen Simon do so many times, but felt full of trepidation, not sure how it would be received by this girl who was at once vulnerable and impenetrable.

River snapped her head in Kaylee's direction and flashed her an enigmatic smile,

"It's alright, jiě jie."

They all knew about her uncanny abilities of perception, but it was still unsettling. Also, River'd never called her that before. Kaylee cocked her head slightly, "Alright t'hug you, or alright Simon's gonna be okay?"

River nodded, her face gone blank again. But her game didn't last long - Kaylee's quizzical look made her erupt in a brief laugh. She was forlorn again just as suddenly, "He would call her a brat."

At this, Kaylee stepped closer and put her arm around River's shoulders, "I'm sure these fancy doctors're doin' their very best for 'im."

River replied by laying her cheek against Kaylee's arm, "Putting everything back the way it's supposed to go. They want to fix things. He wants to fix things. Tinkering with a complex mechanism is more complex than that. Holistic. Didn't see the big picture…"

Kaylee was fairly sure there was double, or even triple, meaning behind what River was saying but she couldn't quite suss it out, "S'pose now we just hafta wait 'til he comes to."

"…He's not dreaming, there's nothing, just the black," River's eyebrows knit together.

As close as Simon and River were, Kaylee supposed it would be perturbing if you were accustomed to hearing your brother's thoughts and his mind had gone blank.

"He doesn't like the black. Scares him. He likes _you_. She's like sunshine. That scares him too," a faint smile flashed across River's face as she looked up at Kaylee and nestled again into her side.

Kaylee bit her lip and gave River an affectionate squeeze. Mal's words came to the forefront of her mind - _Ain't gonna leave 'em, Kaylee, if they don't wanna be left. Whether they take us up on it, that's up to them. _She hoped River was listening in.

"Jiā jiā yǒu běn nán niàn de jīng," said River softly.

They watched the rest of the surgery together in silence.

* * *

Translations:

Mèi mei – little sister

Bié dān xīn – don't worry

Qī qiāo – fishy, odd

Jiě jie – big sister

Jiā jiā yǒu běn nán niàn de jīng – An idiom that means "Every family has its own troubles"


	2. Chapter 2

Kaylee finished a pass with the welding torch, pulling her goggles up to her forehead to look at the weld bead. Satisfied, she shifted her position and pulled the gas lines along with her, giving them a good lift and thwack against Serenity's hull to readjust them for more slack to work with. She wiped her face with the back of a leather-gloved hand and glanced down at the dock.

Various disembodied ship parts were being laid out in an organized fashion to see what was salvageable and what was not. Several Alliance contractors were on the job, efficiently seeing to their assigned tasks. Tasks that Kaylee herself had assigned. It was a novelty to her – this little brigade of mechanics following her instructions. After she and Mal had surveyed the damage with the crew boss Mal hitched a ride back up to the orbiting cruiser to check on those of their number still aboard, leaving her in charge of directing the repair efforts. There was so much to do it was almost disheartening. And she couldn't bring herself to set foot on the bridge. Not yet. She could feel herself starting to get overwhelmed. So she took refuge in welding.

Welding was calming and controllable. It had visible, tangible results. She felt she was making progress. And it took her mind off of other, more troubling, things. Every now and then the crew boss checked in with her. He called her 'Miss Kaylee'. At least these contractors were regular folk – not the purple-bellied troops of Kaylee's other Fed-related experiences.

She was about to lower her goggles in preparation for another weld when she heard Jayne calling to her from below.

"Kaylee! Cap'n just waved. Kuài diǎn," Jayne motioned for her to come down, "Somethin' about the Doc."

* * *

Kaylee found Jayne and Inara in the galley. After spending most of the day tidying up the common areas, they had managed to get things looking more or less back to normal. Jayne had now occupied the entire tabletop sorting through foodstuffs, with more than one open package for snacking on. Inara was putting away the dishes that had survived intact. She replaced a teapot into its storage locker, startled as Kaylee took the stairs in two rushed strides, hurriedly stripping her gloves and heavy welding jacket.

"What's goin' on? Is Simon okay?" Kaylee's voice was full of dread.

Inara immediately shot Jayne an exasperated glare, "He's fine, Kaylee. He's awake."

Jayne shrugged, "What?"

"Jayne!" Kaylee scolded. She relaxed, setting her jacket and gloves on one of the dining chairs, "You're a real hún dàn, you know that. Scarin' me for no reason."

He did not look sorry, "I didn't say it was somethin' _bad_. I just said it was somethin'."

Inara rolled her eyes and came out from behind the kitchen counter, "If you're at a good stopping point, Kaylee, Mal asked me to bring out the shuttle. You could come with me and…"

Before Inara could finish speaking, Kaylee was pulling off her goggles. She unzipped her coveralls halfway, sliding out of the arms and tying them around her waist.

"Ready t'go," she said brightly.

If Inara could read the nervousness beneath her friend's cheerful façade, she didn't let on. She touched Kaylee's arm and smiled, "I know Mal is anxious to get back down here, but I'm sure he can be convinced to give you a little time to visit."

Inara retrieved a silken shawl from the counter, donning it as she headed towards the door. Kaylee hesitated, realizing she hadn't eaten since morning and spied a foil bag of rice crackers wrapped in seaweed. She snagged it before Jayne had a chance to stop her.

"Āi! That's my favorite kind!" Jayne protested.

Kaylee skirted away from the table, out of reach. She popped one into her mouth and shrugged unapologetically before following Inara to the shuttle.

* * *

Translations:

Kuài diǎn - Hurry up!/Get a move on!

Hún dàn – scoundrel

Āi - interjection of surprise or disapprobation. i.e. Hey!/ How dare you!


	3. Chapter 3

Kaylee pulled open the airlock door and received a puff of filtered air - a contrast to the slight sweet-spicy scent of incense that still lingered in what had been Inara's shuttle. Waiting there outside the airlock were Zoe and River. River sat on the floor fiddling with the buckles of her combat boots, while Zoe, arms crossed and leaning her shoulder against a wall, was positioned to be able to keep her eye on the outer corridor, the two Feds sitting in the airlock control booth, and on River all at the same time.

"Hey, you two," Kaylee stepped out and smiled tentatively as she made eye contact with Zoe.

Zoe's stony expression eased a little, "The Captain's with Simon."

River rose from the floor with fluid grace, pointing down the corridor helpfully. She was holding back a smile, as though she had a secret and could hardly keep from spilling it. She clasped her hands behind her back and pivoted back and forth a little, causing her skirt to swing.

Kaylee looked at her with suspicion, feeling a blush start to rise onto her cheeks. She gestured back at the shuttle with her thumb, "Inara's inside. I'll be right back."

"There's no rush," Zoe said knowingly, "C'mon sweetie." She ushered a compliant River through the airlock.

* * *

Kaylee made her way by memory back to the cruiser's medical wing. She felt out of place and it must've outwardly shown - twice she was asked by someone in uniform if she needed assistance. She tried to walk the rest of the way with an air of confidence. Hearing the Captain's familiar voice she stopped short of an open door. She didn't really intend to eavesdrop but didn't want to interrupt either. She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms, unconsciously channeling Zoe, as yet another uniformed crewman walked past.

"…Then we're in agreement," Mal paused while the crewman passed by, "…Oh and I, uh, checked the Cortex. Found it of interest that your warrants ain't posted."

There was a moment of silence before Simon answered, "That could mean any number of things."

"Don't I know it. Nothin's quite so untrustsome as bein' put to our ease."

Kaylee heard footsteps approaching and pushed off the wall, hedging for an instant before moving into the doorway. Mal nearly ran into her. His eyes glinted with a fond amusement that Kaylee hadn't seen in a while. He caught her arm and guided her aside, back into the corridor.

"You been here long?"

She looked up, guilty, "Jus' for that part about the warrants."

"Well don't you worry on it none. Just let's worry about Serenity for now, alright?"

Kaylee nodded, "Shuttle's at airlock 5."

Mal inclined his head towards the door, "Bù máng. I mean, within reason. Still'd like to get some work done 'fore dark hits the world."

She nodded again and shifted to move past him. He stopped her gently.

"Kaylee…" Mal scratched his jaw uneasily with one finger and spoke very quietly so as not to be overheard, "Somethin' Book said a long while back. There's not many would give up everything the way that boy did for his sister. Someone capable of that kinda devotion...You deserve no less, don't mind me sayin'. I get why you been carryin' that torch."

He started to walk away, giving her a parting look over his shoulder. Kaylee blushed for the second time that day. If she was ever going to get Mal's blessing for a shipboard relationship, that had been it.

Stepping over the raised threshold of the door, she hesitated just slightly, taking in the scene – Simon, shirtless, with what looked to be fresh bandages around his torso, lay in a recovery bed, the back inclined so that he was sitting part-way up. A little butterfly fluttered in her chest as her eyes met Simon's. His face lit up but his smile was shy, reserved. Kaylee returned the smile, but broke eye contact, equally shy. She took the liberty of pulling a stool from a computer station along the wall and sat next to the bed, took a long, quiet breath to calm the flutter and looked up.

"Nǐ hǎo ma?"

"Háixíng," he smiled slightly and paused, "Hái kěyǐ. I think…everything is going to be okay."

He wasn't just talking about his gunshot wound, Kaylee knew. They sat quiet for a few moments. Grief and relief hung in the air between them. And hope. Although Kaylee didn't want to presume anything about that last one when it came to the doctor's confounding mind.

Kaylee's own mind wandered back to the Maidenhead, walking down the stairs with the Captain.

_You knew he was gonna leave. We never been but a way-station to those two. And how do you know what he feels? Oh he's got River to worry on, but he still coulda' showed you. If I truly wanted someone bad enough, wouldn't be a thing in the 'verse could stop me from goin' to her._

But in her heart, she knew it was more complicated than that. And after Simon's confession, followed by some near death experience and some time apart, Kaylee didn't know quite how to proceed.

"So, the Cap'n fill you in?"

"He did…"

"There's so much to do. Looks like we crash landed or somethin'," she quipped out of nervousness.

"I'm sorry I'm stuck sitting in here. But I should be released in another day or so. Honestly, I'd like to get out of here now."

"What? Outta these fancy digs?" Kaylee said semi-jokingly, looking around the pristine recovery room, "Guess I reckoned you'd be feelin' right at home."

Simon shook his head with a crooked smile, "Not really. The Alliance may be shaken for a while, but I doubt that River and I are completely in the clear. We'll need to be on the move."

There was an awkward pause. Their eyes met. They spoke in synchrony.

"Simon…"

"Kaylee, I…"

"Nǐ xiān zǒu," Simon said. Ever polite.

Kaylee sighed, fighting back the lump in her throat. So Mal was right?

"Don't worry about it, Simon. I get it, you an' River gotta be movin' on. What you said before, about being with me…it was the heat of battle an' all. We all thought we were wán dàn. Méi shì, hái hǎo," she finished quietly, trying to keep up a brave front.

She wasn't expecting his furrowed brow, his anguished expression.

"No, no it wasn't the heat of battle," he said quickly, "I mean, that probably helped me to finally say it. And almost dying…well, that has a way of giving a person a lot to think on. But no, when I say we'll need to be on the move, I mean we need to keep flying. With Serenity…with you."

"…Zhēnde?"

He nodded, "I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you. I've been such an insensitive dà shǎ guā," his eyes fell, and his voice lost volume, "I'm surprised you even like me after everything I…Bie wu lohng."

Kaylee blinked, readjusting herself to this new understanding. He _had _meant what he said.

"I know you were jus' tryin' to look out for your sister. You're a good gēge, Simon," she reached out to gently squeeze his forearm, then slid her hand down to his, "An' I _do_ like you."

He looked deep into her eyes. That butterfly was back.

"I want to be with you," Simon said softly, "But I didn't mean sex…"

Now it was Kaylee's turn for furrowed brows. She pulled her hand away just as Simon spoke again quickly, "No! I mean, yes. Sex. But not only just…"

He was blushing. He sighed, "Here I go again, mucking everything up. How w'rin bu lai, whai w'rin bu jwo. I just…don't want you to think that's all I'm looking for."

He rubbed the back of his neck, and looked up at her with one corner of his mouth curled up in a sheepish smile. Kaylee softened.

"Don't gotta be scared'a me, Simon. From now on jus' say what you mean to say…I wanna be with you too. And not only just…I been tryin' to show ya."

"I know. I'm sorry Kaylee. I didn't think I could. With River, and the Alliance after us. I didn't know how long we would be with Serenity. We were putting you all at risk, just being onboard. And there was Mal – he threatened to space me once. I got the feeling it was never fully off the table. Like he'd do it if I ever hurt you. The last thing I _ever_ intended was to hurt you, Kaylee. I was trying to protect you and chéng shì bù zú - bài shì yǒu yú - I ended up hurting you more…You're the sweetest, prettiest, most jīng cǎi light in the 'verse. You deserve someone who'll let you know it every day. I've wanted to be that someone but…I thought if I kept my distance, from you, from everyone, when it came time to leave it would be easier…"

"S'better to go ahead an' have somethin' to risk losin' than to be so scared of losin' it you never have in the first place," Kaylee couldn't stop the tears from welling up.

Simon sighed, "Like I said, my one regret…You asked me a while back if there was anything about Serenity I was glad of?"

Their eyes met.

"I've come to know, I'm glad of a lot of things. But most of all you."

Simon reached up a hand, without hesitation this time around, to touch her face. Gently he grazed her cheekbone with his thumb and traced the line of her jaw. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and let it slide through his fingers. Kaylee felt a tear escape as she covered his hand with hers, intertwining fingers.

"Well…" She took a breath. "That was some mighty fine speechifyin', Doc," she teased, wiping away the tear, "See now, was that so hard?"

Simon laughed, followed immediately by a grimace of pain. He let his head and shoulders fall back against the inclined bed, his free hand flying protectively to his wound. He smiled, "It hurts to laugh."

"Oh, honey," Kaylee sympathized. She pointed at his bandage, "Now we got matching scars."

Simon clamped his lips together, trying not to laugh again. "Nǐ hěn bǎoguì."

Kaylee grinned and giggled.

"Nǐ hěn piào liang." Suddenly he looked very serious. Kaylee found herself feeling shy again. This was really happening.

"Shi ma? Well, shuàigē, you're not so bad yourself," she resorted to teasing him again, the last bits of awkwardness not quite let go. After all this time, this was really happening.

Simon pulled her hand lightly, urging her towards him. She leaned forward, bracing one hand on the bed, and brought her face to within a few inches of his. Just then, in her peripheral vision, the movement of a nurse entering the room made Kaylee pull back a ways and freeze. They both let out a breath. Kaylee hadn't realized she'd been holding it.

The nurse pretended to ignore them, hurriedly going about whatever her business was at the computer station.

Simon continued to look at Kaylee with an intensity she was beginning to grow accustomed to. He whispered, barely audible, "I really, really want to kiss you."

Kaylee felt sure the nurse must be able to hear her heartbeat from across the room. Said nurse turned off a display screen and gathered up her charts. She left with a smile on her face.

Before anything else could interrupt, Kaylee leaned back in and hovered for a moment before closing the distance between them. The first touch of their lips was light, soft, sweetly hesitant. As they broke contact, Kaylee could feel Simon's intake of breath. She smiled against his mouth. He smiled back. The next kiss was slow, lingering, and warm. Kaylee touched his lower lip with her tongue delicately. He answered with his.

Remembering their current circumstances, the recovery room with its' large window and open door, Alliance personnel sure to be going back and forth in the corridor at any moment, Kaylee reluctantly released Simon's lower lip with a gentle suction and rested her forehead on his. They shared an inhale and an exhale. Kaylee noticed him lick that lip and graze his teeth across it. She sat back.

"Best you hurry up an' zhù nǐ zǎorì kāngfù," she said archly, eyes sparkling.

"Yeah," he replied, his chest rising and falling at a somewhat quickened pace.

Kaylee regarded him for a moment and sighed as she stood, "I better get on back…so much work to do and now I gotta give my Cap'n a talking-to. Threatenin' to space you," she shook her head in amused disbelief.

"No," Simon pleaded, reaching a hand to her, "It's alright. We've…come to an understanding…You know he thinks of you as his mèi mei. He just wants the best for you in that over-protective, big-brotherly sort of way."

"Guess you can relate," Kaylee said wryly.

Simon smiled. "…My sister loves Serenity," he mused, "And, truth be told, I do to. She's our home now. My home."

Kaylee almost couldn't believe her ears, except that her gut and his eyes told her he was nothing but sincere. She looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was coming, stepped close, cupped his face in one hand and kissed him. She felt him slide his fingers down her ribcage and settle on the curve of her waist, deftly finding the strip of bare skin between her shirt hem and coveralls. He raised himself toward her as much as he could bear, ignoring the pain of using his injured stomach muscles. Kaylee sat on the edge of the bed and pushed his shoulder back, deepening the kiss. He grabbed the bunched-up coverall fabric at her hip with longing, pulling her a little closer. So much yearning, so much promise was passed between them in that moment they almost didn't register the sound of voices in the corridor, snapping them out of their own little 'verse.

"When didja say you could get off this boat?" Kaylee said as she stood up, straightening her coveralls and tightening the arms around her waist again.

Simon's breathy laugh caused him to put a hand to his side once more.

"Duìbùqǐ," she replaced the stool in its spot by the computer. When she turned around Simon was gazing at her dreamily. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself, absentmindedly pulling his earlobe between thumb and forefinger.

"What were you gonna say?"

"Just something popped into my head, seemed appropriate. 'A thousand times goodnight'."

She smiled bashfully, "That's pretty."

"It's from a play, from Earth-That-Was. We could read it, if you want?"

"That'd be shiny," Kaylee moved toward the door, "Alright, well…A thousand times goodnight."

"Don't let the space bugs bite," Simon quoted with a roguish grin.

She covered her eyes with her hand in embarrassment, then peeked out from under it smirking. Lingering in the doorway for one last second before stepping out into the corridor, Kaylee made her way back to the airlock with a new little spring in her step.

* * *

Translations:

Bù máng – There's no hurry

Nǐ hǎo ma? – How are you?

Háixíng – I'm okay

Hái kěyǐ – It's okay

Nǐ xiān zǒu – You go first

Wán dàn – done for

Méi shì – Don't worry about it

Hái hǎo – It's good/It's okay

Zhēnde? – Really?

Dà shǎ guā – jerk, fool

Bie wu lohng – commit blunder of great magnitude

Gēge – big brother

How w'rin bu lai, whai w'rin bu jwo – Things never go smooth

Chéng shì bù zú - bài shì yǒu yú – to do more harm than good

Jīng cǎi – brilliant

Nǐ hěn bǎoguì – You're precious

Nǐ hěn piào liang – You're beautiful

Shi ma? – Is that so?

Shuàigē – handsome

Zhù nǐ zǎorì kāngfù – Get well soon

Mèi mei – little sister

Duìbùqǐ – Sorry


	4. Chapter 4

Kaylee stuck out her bottom jaw to puff her hair out of her eyes as she tightened the final turn on a bolt. She sat back on her heels and brushed the offending hair behind her ears, inadvertently smudging her sweaty forehead and temple with grime. It was warm in the engine room although the engine was idle. Due to the hull breaches remaining to be fixed, Kaylee hadn't been able to run the environmental controls and the ship, sitting exposed to the elements, grew overheated during the day, and overly chilly at night. They were leaving the cargo bay door open, partly in an attempt to allow a cross-breeze through the ship since the windows were still out on the bridge. But the breeze, if there was any, wasn't making it up to the engine.

Kaylee replaced the wrench to her toolbox and took a look around. Things were shaping up but there was still a lot left to do. However, she had reached an impasse in the engine room for the time being, Serenity's interdependent systems requiring certain repairs to be done before others could be gone ahead with.

"You're stalling," River said, not lifting her eyes from the pages of the manual she was reading. She was perched on Kaylee's hammock, her feet swinging back and forth.

"Yeah, well," Kaylee stood up and wiped her hands on her coveralls. River was right. She had been avoiding the bridge as much as possible, doing anything else that needed doing to delay having to spend much time up there. It was still so freshly sad to the sensitive mechanic.

River closed the manual and balanced it on her knees with the cover facing out suggestively. It was the flight control manual for a firefly class.

"You finished already?" Kaylee asked. She sighed, "Alright, Miss Know-it-all. Guess it is kinda hot in here. We could do with some air for a while. Xié bàn?"

River hopped out of the hammock in response. Together they gathered up the tools and headed towards the front of the ship. Kaylee wavered at the bottom of the stairs to the bridge, seeing movement through the portal above. It was Zoe. River slid past Kaylee and up the stairs without a pause. Kaylee couldn't stop her, her hands being full. She followed River up.

Kaylee set her armload down next to the co-pilot's console. River added to Kaylee's pile and started to slowly run her hand along the console, her eyes darting over the controls, her mouth moving as she silently spoke to herself. Zoe looked to be wrapping up with something – she wiped her hands with a towel and picked up a small bucket from the floor containing dirty, sudsy water and a soaked cloth. Kaylee looked past Zoe's shoulder and realized that the fabric covering the pilot's chair was cleaner than it had ever been. She glanced back at the other chair for comparison, which did not go unnoticed by Zoe.

"May as well do th'other one now. I'd bet my share of our next job they ain't seen soap nor water since the day this boat left the shipyard," said Zoe, straight-faced.

Kaylee swallowed, trying to put aside the observation that the water in Zoe's bucket had a reddish tint to it. "I'll side with you on that one."

Zoe smiled a little, "Just gonna go change this water." She paused, "I was thinkin'…We finished the monuments this morning. Doctor's supposed to be out today?"

"I think so," Kaylee nodded.

"Liáng hǎo. We can all go."

_Click, click, click._

The two women turned their heads at the familiar sound of three switches being flicked. River was sitting in Wash's chair. Her hand floated down from the switches above, her mouth slightly open in fascination as she looked over the now lit-up controls.

"Uh, River, maybe you should'n…" Kaylee bit her lip and looked from Zoe to River and back again.

Zoe shifted her grip on the bucket, "…It's alright. She's not doin' any harm."

River swiveled the chair in their direction, picking up Wash's plastic t-rex on the way, "She's walking on eggshells."

Kaylee looked down, certain that River was referring to her. It was true. She wasn't quite sure how to act around Zoe these last few days.

"There's no need," Zoe said, glancing at Kaylee. She set down the bucket and crossed to River, holding out her hand for the dinosaur, "But why don't we just leave these be."

River met Zoe's steady gaze and placed the t-rex into her waiting hand, willingly with no resistance. Zoe put it back on the console and offered River the towel, "Sit on this if you're gonna sit. Chair still needs to dry."

River took the towel and stood up suddenly, leaping into a run towards the portal.

"Simon!" they heard her exclaim as she ran past the crew bunks. Kaylee's eyes widened a little and she started after River, not quite running but not quite walking either.

As she descended the stairs to the cargo bay, Kaylee saw River dash towards her brother in a few elegant strides, coming to a controlled stop just a pace away. Simon was leaning lightly on a crutch on his left side. He nodded his thanks to the Fed nurse who had pushed him into the bay in a wheelchair. River was grinning ear to ear, but she waited until the nurse had turned and was pushing the chair down Serenity's ramp before she laced her arms around Simon warily from the side to avoid his injury, still holding the towel in one hand.

"Hi mèi mei," Simon returned the embrace with his free arm, looking up at Kaylee as she stepped down the last couple of stairs. Kaylee held back, not wanting to intrude on the siblings' moment. But the look in Simon's bright eyes made her flush, eager for her own reunion.

Simon returned his attention to his sister, turning to regard her with a concern that was both brotherly and doctorly. He searched her eyes, "How are you? Have you been sleeping okay?"

River released Simon and extricated herself, "Hòu lái. Busy. I'll tell you later." She held up the towel in front of her as she flitted back to the stairs, passing Kaylee and up out of sight. Simon smiled, taken aback, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Did she mean she's busy, or I am?" Simon started to walk slowly across the bay.

"Both maybe," Kaylee said, meeting him halfway, "Nǐ shēntǐ hǎo ma? The chair and crutch and everything…"

Simon glanced over his shoulder and nodded, looking a bit chagrined, "They insisted." The two of them could see the Alliance shuttle that had delivered Simon taking off a short distance away from Serenity, "I'm fine really. As long as I take it slow, I'm fine." He reached out to her.

Kaylee made to hug him as River had, from the side, so as not to hurt him. But Simon turned in her arms to face her, his eyes smiling, "You've got something, just here," he touched the dark smudge above her eye.

"Ayă, I must be a sight," Kaylee used the back of her sleeve to wipe it off as best she could.

Simon nodded, but Kaylee quickly realized there was no cause for self-consciousness. His blue eyes were dark, deep pools. He brought her in a little closer and she slid her hands up around his neck.

"Oh yeah, I do have a recollection of someone sayin' somethin' about me bein' pretty even when I'm covered in engine grease," she gazed upwards, pretending to be scanning her memory. Simon grinned, blushing a little, the tip of his tongue peeking out between his teeth. Kaylee leaned close and kissed him on the cheek, letting her lips brush slowly past the corner of his mouth as she pulled back to look at him.

"Where is everybody?" Simon asked, almost a whisper, sweeping his eyes over the cargo bay.

"Wŏ bù zhīdào," Kaylee answered, picking up on his modesty. They were standing in plain sight and she didn't much want to be walked in on either, "Workin' I s'pose."

"Do you need to…?"

"No, I can take a break for a while. Later we're to go out to, uh…Zoe found an awful pretty spot for a memorial. I think I'll fix up something for supper, so's it'll be ready for us all when we get back. But I don't need to get started just yet."

"I'll help," Simon offered.

"'Kay," she smiled. She shifted to his side, pulling one of his arms over her shoulder and wrapping her own arm around his waist to support him as they walked towards the back of the ship. They took the stairs down with care.

Simon paused as they got to the infirmary door. It looked exactly as he'd left it. He pointed in disbelief, a curious expression on his face, "I was expecting to return to total chaos in here."

"Oh, it was. 'Til yesterday. River did a real nice job."

He looked surprised – to say that his sister didn't like spending time in there was an understatement, "River? You're joking."

"Nope," Kaylee shook her head with a smile, "Inara was lookin' after her yesterday, but she said River wouldn't let 'er help."

"Wow…well, let's see what the damage is back here then…" They continued past the infirmary to the passenger quarters. He slid open the door to his room. Sure enough, it looked like a small tornado had passed through. There wasn't much room inside to stand without stepping on something. He smiled at Kaylee apologetically.

They faced each other, standing in the doorway. Feeling sufficiently alone, Kaylee closed the gap between them and placed a hand on Simon's waist, rubbing the front of his hipbone with her thumb. He took a deep breath.

"Huānyíng huí jiā," Kaylee said softly.

He replied by tangling his fingers into the hair at the base of her skull, tilting his head down to kiss her lightly, teasingly, taking his time. With both hands on his waist now she drew him against her, asking for more. Simon obliged, intensifying his kisses. They moved unhurriedly, exploring without rushing. There was, however, a building sense of urgency right below the surface. They pulled apart just enough to look into each other's eyes, their breathing quickened. Gently, he pushed her until she backed into the doorframe and pressed her against it. Simon raked his fingers across her ribs on one side, his thumb tentatively stroking the swell of her breast. Her eyelids fluttered closed and she snuck her fingers under his shirt to hook them over the waistband of his slacks. He gasped. She could feel that he was hard against her thigh.

Kaylee opened her eyes, hoping the doctor's Core-bred sense of propriety wasn't going to make a comeback. But that thought was cleared from her mind as soon as he pulled the zipper of her coveralls down far enough to slide his hand inside and continue his introduction to her breast with one less layer of fabric.

"It ain't fair," Kaylee sighed.

"Shén me?" he asked, planting feathery kisses just under her jaw.

"It's pretty clear what effect you're havin' on a fella," she said breathlessly, and shifted her leg against him to prove her point, "But girlfolk ain't so obvious. You wanna know what kinda effect you're havin', you gotta do a little more to find out."

Simon's eyes smoldered. He held the tab of her zipper between thumb and forefinger, wavering for a few seconds before pulling it farther down for more access. She locked eyes with him as he reached his hand down to the inside of her thigh. Slowly, slowly he ventured further, slipping his first two fingers under the elastic of her panties.

"Kaylee…" he sighed reverently, discovering how slick he had made her.

She arched her hips towards him as he withdrew his hand.

"Nǐ hěn xiǎng ma?" Kaylee knew the connotation of her question was clear.

"Yes," he assured her, "I'm keen to…but…"

Kaylee realized the reason for his apprehension, recalling that just laughing had caused him considerable pain only a couple of days prior. She ran her fingers very lightly across his stomach, feeling the bandage under his shirt. He shied slightly but allowed her careful examination. She lifted his shirt by the hem to see a much smaller bandage than before – a square of gauze held on by tape, "Almost forgot about this."

"Me too," he shifted his stance and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers, twirling them then in her hair and kissed her slowly, "Give me a couple more days…" kissed her again, "But in the meantime, there're plenty of other things I _can _do…"

He took a step into his room, starting to clear a path to the bed by sliding things aside with his foot.

The sound of boots on metal flooring made them both freeze.

"Doc?" someone called. It sounded like Jayne.

They sprung back to action. Kaylee zipped up her coveralls, smoothed her stray hair and tucked it behind her ears. Simon turned away, regaining his composure. Kaylee went out first. Jayne was poking his head into the infirmary, followed shortly by Mal coming down the stairs.

"Kaylee," the captain spotted her, "Ain't Simon back?" He eyed her suspiciously.

"Mmm hmm," she nodded sweetly, hoping her cheeks weren't too flushed. Simon appeared in the hall behind her, sliding his bedroom door shut and approaching them where they had gathered outside the infirmary. He stood next to Kaylee, nonchalant.

"Hello, gentlemen," Simon greeted them.

Jayne snorted. Mal crossed his arms.

"Doctor," Mal said, "Welcome back."

"Thank you," Simon's eyes went instantly to the hints of blood on both Mal and Jayne's shirts, at the mid-section and shoulder respectively, "Jayne, aren't you supposed to be wearing a sling?"

"Can't work with that consternatin' thing," Jayne complained, "But then I ripped a stitch or three."

"You too?" Simon asked Mal.

"Bù cuò," the captain nodded slightly and motioned towards the infirmary door. "If you're feelin' up to it…" he prodded.

"Think I can manage," Simon said dryly, leading the way in. He set about prepping his tray of supplies. Kaylee noted that Simon worked as efficiently as ever - everything was where it was supposed to be. River must have memorized the layout.

Jayne went first, shedding his t-shirt and sitting on the exam table.

Simon's eyebrows knit together as he cleaned Jayne's wound, "How long did you wait? You could've gone back up to the cruiser and had them take a look at this."

"Don't trust them Feds," Jayne said gruffly, watching the doctor thread his needle.

Simon considered Jayne, then Mal with a contemplative eye.

"Yeah, just figured you'd be here soon enough. Didn't fancy flyin' back up to that schmancy boat," Mal leaned casually against the wall.

Kaylee looked at her captain and Jayne, smirking to herself. It was amusing to watch them evade just telling Simon the truth as she saw it as an outside observer – that they were glad to see him, he was crew, he was their medic, and despite Alliance doctors' supposed quality, they knew Simon's from first-hand experience.

"I'm touched," Simon said drolly, "Strange to say."

Mal suppressed a smile but Kaylee saw it. She sat next to him in a stool and they watched Simon work for a few minutes. Everyone but the doctor turned their heads at the entrance of the final three members of Serenity's unlikely family. Zoe, River, and Inara filtered in and found places to sit or stand. River took her customary spot on the countertop, sitting with one knee up, the other leg dangling off the edge. Simon did look up for an instant at his sister, sharing a significant glance, before finishing a knot and snipping off the excess thread. River smiled and cast her eyes downwards, swinging her foot. Kaylee imagined he had silently thanked her for yesterday's diligent work.

"At least use the sling for the rest of the day, Jayne?" Simon suggested over his shoulder as he went to the sink to wash his hands, "You still have it somewhere?"

"Yeah, yeah," Jayne muttered.

Mal traded places with Jayne, shrugging off his suspenders and unbuttoning his shirt to expose his stab wound for the doctor.

It was the first time they had all been together since they'd landed here. Kaylee was keenly aware that there were only seven. They all seemed to feel it.

After a time, Mal broke the silence, "…Zoe was thinkin' this evening for the mountain top, now we're all here."

Kaylee looked around the room. No one spoke at first.

"Occidens," River quietly proffered.

"Come again?" Jayne rest back against the opposite countertop, asking on behalf of everyone save perhaps Simon.

"Sunset," she clarified, giving Jayne an irritated look, "Is in the West."

"That'll do fine," Mal agreed.

"Sir, don't we have some fireworks stashed?" Zoe asked.

"Should be," he nodded.

"I know where they're at," Jayne pushed off the wall and started out. Zoe followed.

Inara rewrapped her shawl, "I'll get the shuttle prepped."

* * *

Translations:

Xié bàn? – cooperate in doing something, help somebody do something

Liáng hǎo – good, favorable, fine

Hòu lái – later, afterwards

Nǐ shēntǐ hǎo ma - are you okay?

Ayă – Oh no

Wŏ bù zhīdào – I don't know

Huānyíng huí jiā - Welcome home

Shén me? – What?

Nǐ hěn xiǎng ma? – Are you keen to/desirous of? (Or in 'verse-speak – You wanna?)

Bù cuò – correct, right, not bad, pretty good


	5. Chapter 5

Just as the sun sunk behind the distant mountains a slight breeze picked up, tussling Kaylee's hair and blowing her skirt about. The wet paths of tears down her cheeks felt the sting of the cool little wind. She shivered. The drop in temperature seemed almost immediate after the sun's disappearance. The sky was fast becoming a hazy shade of purple. Simon squeezed her hand. Kaylee gave him a brief, weak smile and wiped at her face, looking out at the vista once more. After Zoe had lit the rocket and they watched it explode, they had all just stood there. There hadn't been any words – no one seemed to have any, but no one seemed to mind. They didn't need any. Maybe later.

Jayne was the first to break their formation on the cliff top, silently turning back towards the shuttle. Kaylee nudged Simon slightly, knowing it would take him a little longer than normal to walk back. After a few paces, they snuck a glance behind and saw Mal motion silently to River to follow, leaving Zoe alone, her white dress billowing out behind her in the increasing wind.

Back at the ship, as the docking clamps clacked into place and the shuttle settled, it felt to Kaylee a kind of a sigh – of the shuttle into the ship, of the ship itself, as though Serenity was aware of them somehow. Although she liked to think of the ship as "her girl", as sentient in some way, Kaylee inwardly chided herself.

River looked up at her, in that piercing way she was wont to do, "She knows."

Kaylee shrugged, unfastening her shoulder belt, "I dunno, jus' my imagination."

"No harm in that," River stood.

Kaylee smiled, "How come you're so…" she couldn't think of how to say it. Insightful? Astute?

River mimicked Kaylee's shrug and turned away, going to help her brother.

"Chow in ten?" Mal said, directed at Kaylee but loud enough for everyone to hear as they were disembarking.

"Five," Kaylee replied, "Just gotta heat it up."

Folks nodded their acknowledgement but she realized that Zoe was no longer among them. Hoping to catch her, Kaylee slipped out the portal quickly and down the stairs to see Zoe already most of the way across the catwalk. Zoe turned at the sound.

Kaylee opened her mouth to start but Zoe cut her off, "Five minutes. I heard. Don't wait for me. I'm not hungry." She continued on her way.

"We'll save some for ya. For later," Kaylee called, "It'll be there if ya want…"

She felt the Captain grip her shoulder, solid but tender, as he passed by her on the catwalk. She sighed, wondering what life would be like from now on. She felt a whole host of tumultuous thoughts she hadn't spoken aloud about to brim over…what would they do next? What would it be like without Wash? What about River and the Academy? Wouldn't they still want her back? What about Simon? How would things change, being with him?

Kaylee snapped back to the here and now as the object of those last thoughts came down the stairs from the shuttle, assisted by River.

"I'll go on ahead?" Kaylee suggested, remembering she'd said five minutes.

He nodded and she took off to the galley. Most of everything was already done – table set, soup made, bread laid out, spice tea steeping – prepared with Simon's help earlier on. She lit the stove to reheat things.

Kaylee was not surprised when Jayne was the first one to sit down. Everyone else but Zoe straggled in shortly thereafter. Supper was a quiet affair, as the rocket launch had been. The mood was somber to be sure, but also managed to be amiable. Kaylee knew this wasn't going to turn into one of those evenings of drinking and telling funny stories about the departed. Yet they all seemed a bit reluctant to leave the table, milking their cups of tea as long as possible, just being there together. Someday perhaps they would all sit around and recall fond memories of Wash and Book. But not now. Not for a while.

Kaylee reached under the table for Simon's hand, trying to be inconspicuous. But when she exchanged glances with Inara, the twinkle in the companion's eye told Kaylee she had not been.

"They all know anyways," River blurted out, suddenly surly.

Simon seemed startled, releasing Kaylee's hand and sitting up slightly straighter in his chair. Everyone tensed – something about River's tone called to mind previous outbursts. Kaylee wasn't sure what to expect. River had seemed so much better these past few days.

She continued on with a trembling voice as though on the verge of tears, "Wanting to hide and not hide, but you can't do both. Feeling guilty. For being the ones left, being here, being happy."

Again, Kaylee was sure there were layers of meaning to what she was saying. River had put words to what had been plaguing Kaylee's mind all evening. Then again, it could've been coming from River's own thoughts. Or a mix of everyone in the room's.

River started to break down, eyes casting about the room wildly before landing on Kaylee - on her pendant more specifically, "Shuāngxǐ …" She pointed at it.

Kaylee looked down at the golden pendant she wore, now registering the Chinese character and its' symbolism, "Oh no, I didn't mean…"

Simon had risen and was on his way to his sister's side.

"…nothin' by it," Kaylee sunk, her voice petering out as she pulled her silk jacket closed in an effort to cover the transgression.

"Shuāngxǐ, shuāngxǐ, fǎn huà," River's words and actions veered more into her inner world before their eyes. She grasped her bread knife and turned the point downwards like a pencil. Mal and Jayne started to react. It looked like she intended to carve something on the table, "Shì xiǎng."

Simon seized her wrist to stop her just in time, "Mèi mei."

"Double happiness," she looked up at him, all innocence.

"You can write it on paper. River, come on," Simon urged, gently pulling her to standing. He took the knife and set it down.

Kaylee sat at a loss for words, watching the siblings' eerie way with each other. She felt like an outsider.

"No, no it's better to stay close," River protested, "Even though it's crowded," they heard her saying as Simon led her over to the sitting area.

Those left at the table shared a moment of collective relief. Jayne shook his head and muttered something to himself before taking the last swig of tea from his cup and stacking his dishes. Somewhat begrudgingly he reached out for Inara's, nesting her cup and plate with his. Taking advantage of one of his occasional moments of altruism, everyone else passed their dishes closer for him to collect. To his credit, he did not complain, even as he took the stack of plates to the sink and started the water.

"You cooked, we'll clean up," Mal said with a nod to Kaylee, downing the last of his tea as well, "Ain't that right, Jayne?"

Jayne did not answer, but came back over to get the stack of cups. Mal looked satisfied enough, rising to start clearing the other things from the table.

"I should'na wore this," Kaylee said quietly, "For a memorial? What was I thinkin'?"

Inara reached across the table for her hand, "Nothing offensive."

"Oh gosh! Zoe," Kaylee quaked.

"If you'da offended Zoe, you'd know," Mal said.

"No one thinks you meant anything by wearing that, Kaylee," Inara said kindly. As Mal took a handful of silverware over to the sink she lowered her voice so only Kaylee could hear and made a quick tilt of her head towards Simon, "Or that you had some kind of hidden agenda."

Kaylee glanced over at the Tams, embarrassed. Double Happiness had long been a symbol most often thought of in connection with weddings. She certainly hadn't had that in mind when she paired the gold pretty with her pink silk. River was now bent over a piece of paper intently, intensely writing calligraphy, brow furrowed. Simon returned to his chair next to Kaylee and sat down with a sigh.

"Actually," Inara continued, "Shuāngxǐ is really just a sign of goodness representing love, happiness, and luck. In a way it's very fitting - if you bend your mind away from guilt and remember that we must go on living our lives."

Kaylee lowered her head to stare at her hands. Part of her wanted to just disappear, to go be alone in her bunk or her hammock. So much sadness. So many lives lost. If she thought about it for too long it threatened to overwhelm her. But at the same time, she knew Inara was right. Life was going on regardless. They had much to be grateful for. They had each other. And her own burgeoning happiness regarding a certain young doctor – so new, so buoyant – was nothing to feel guilty about.

"It's better to stay close," River repeated her earlier sentiment, without pausing in her self-appointed task.

Kaylee could feel Simon's gaze. She looked up at him, becoming absorbed by the way the lamplight made his eyes glisten. Jayne came and went, grabbing his coat on his way to the front hall. Mal came next, all three at the table turning to him as he gripped the back of his customary chair.

"We all just been through a real fine kettle of fish, lil' Kaylee. We been through more'n our share and we will again," Mal said, "The 'verse is a perilsome place."

"True," Simon said, "There are risks everywhere. We just seem to find them more often than not."

Mal set his unflinching gaze on Simon, "I never said this life ain't risky. But them that choose it know that. Anyone wantin' out can go right ahead."

Mal's eyes flashed to Inara before he turned and left. Without a word, Inara stood and retreated in the opposite direction. They sat in silence for a moment until they heard the hatch to Mal's bunk bang shut.

Simon and Kaylee looked at each other again.

"So, when d'ya think those two'll stop beatin' around the bush?" Kaylee smiled.

Simon expression was mildly bewildered.

"Remember who you're talking to," River said to Kaylee.

Kaylee couldn't help but let a laugh escape before she clamped her mouth shut and waited to see what the siblings would do. Simon shook his head, narrowed eyes glinting with something between vexation and joviality, "You brat." He balled up his napkin and threw it at her.

River gave him her most charming grin.

"It's getting late," Simon announced with that tone of voice which speaks of changing the subject and of putting little sisters to bed.

They roused themselves, turning off lights, pushing in chairs, and headed down towards the passenger bunks. River clutched the paper she'd been writing on and pulled Kaylee by the hand to sit her down on the couch outside the infirmary. Simon followed a little behind, hindered by his crutch. River guided him to sit next to Kaylee. She sat in the armchair across from them as though about to tell them some important news. Kaylee watched her in anticipation, curious.

"Sorry about before," River said, "It gets so…full. Whirling, like a…starlings, like a murmuration…"

"Murmurin'?" Kaylee asked, checking Simon for help. He had none.

River shook her head, "No, a murmuration. Of birds. Starlings. Synchronized dynamics of flock motion, strands of density, swirling, spaces in between…"

"I've seen that," Kaylee brightened with recognition, "Back home. Thousands and thousands of 'em, rollin' in the sky. They can turn on a dime. Swirl around in different shapes like she said. All together. Ain't nobody knows how they do it. If one gets separated, it's easier for the hawks to pick 'em off."

"One gets separated, those ones are distinct," River looked at them imploringly, "Most of them connect, drift different ways, connect again somewhere else. Swift, rushing, it's loud sometimes. Not a sound, but loud."

Kaylee exchanged another glance with Simon, beginning to understand River's metaphor. She could hardly imagine what it would feel like to read people's minds. But that must be what she was trying to describe.

"You mean thoughts, mèi mei? Other people's thoughts?" Simon sought to clarify.

"And feelings," River confirmed.

Simon perked up, shifting a bit toward the edge of the couch cushion, "Can you choose? Can you control it at all?"

"I want to. I'll get better. I can tell," she said resolutely. But soon River looked like she was about to cry. She took a breath, "Simon. Something else. The Reavers. I chose to do that. I can decide to use it, what they gave me."

Kaylee held perfectly still, aware that River's lucidity was an unpredictable thing and an opportunity not to be missed. Simon seemed to be considering his next choice of words very carefully. But River continued on her own.

"You want me to talk about the Academy," she shook her head, "It's getting late."

"River…"

She acquiesced slightly, "I did it before, at the Skyplex. I chose. I didn't comprehend it but I knew I could protect you," she looked at Kaylee, "Now I know what it is they made me. What I can do."

Kaylee felt her eyes brimming in empathy. Simon hung his head with a pained expression. River slid from her chair and knelt in front of him.

"Don't worry," she whispered, "You worry too much. What happened happened. Can't go back. Only forward. Here…" River handed him the paper she'd been writing on earlier, "Tell her…"

Simon's eyes scanned the characters. He looked up confused, "Tell who what?"

River pointed at a particular part of the page and then rose to leave them. "Her eyes," she encouraged and disappeared into her room.

Simon scooted back and held the paper so that Kaylee could see, showing her where River had pointed. It looked like a segment of a poem – "green trees against the sky in the spring rain". At the top of the page River had written the Double Happiness character several times in different calligraphic styles.

Simon read the whole verse out loud, giving his best attempt at a translation of the poetic characters, "Red flowers dot the land in the breeze's chase while the land colored up in red after the kiss, Green trees against the sky in the spring rain while the sky set off the spring trees in the obscuration." He leaned back, "I think it's something to do with the story behind shuāngxǐ. How she remembers all these things I have no idea."

Kaylee shrugged, "I jus' remember it was a story about a boy an' girl in love. So's that's why it came to be for weddings and such…Simon, I didn't…"

"I know," he set the paper on the coffee table and turned to face her, "…River's right. About your eyes."

Kaylee looked up, recalling the last time he'd commented on her eyes, in the booth with the "alien". It must've shown on her face that the memory was not a pleasant one because he took her hand and entreated her not to look away with his own eyes.

"I know I royally botched it the last time, but what I wanted to say is that your eyes are such a beautiful shade of green. You don't get to see green very often out in the black, on the ship, on many border planets. It reminds me of home on Osiris. River and I used to play in the gardens around our house…"

Kaylee smiled - that was certainly a vast improvement over his last attempt. "Don't get to see blue so often out here neither."

He smiled back, blushing slightly, and took a breath before continuing, "And while I'm at it, I'm so sorry. That day on the space station, what I meant – and it came out as a horribly insensitive, bad joke, because I was so nervous – what I meant was you're the only girl in the 'verse that I…what incredible luck, to have met you."

The only response she could think of at that moment was to kiss him. She tried to pour her forgiveness into it, to erase any doubt he might have. He'd hurt her feelings more than once in the past but, although she still carried the memories, she was forgiving by nature and had never stayed mad for long. The kiss was tender more than passionate. They did not allow it to escalate. It was a comfort just to be together. It had been a long, emotional day and it was indeed getting late. She could sense that he shared the same sentiment as they broke the kiss and changed their positions, stretching out to lie down. Kaylee pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and arranged it over them, carefully nestling into his arms.

"You still nervous?" Kaylee asked teasingly, draping an arm across his chest. He covered her hand with his.

"Maybe a little," he admitted, "River's right again. I worry too much."

"River's right about a lotta things," Kaylee heard River's earlier words run through her head - _It's better to stay close._ "Simon, do you think she'll be okay?"

His chest rose and fell with a deep breath, "That depends on your definition of 'okay'. I think she's gaining more control. She's trying to heal. And she's strong, I know that. But I _am_ worried. What if there are other levels of conditioning, even deeper down, with different triggers? What if she's still valuable to the Alliance and can be manipulated by them? We still don't know the real purpose behind the Academy. What did they plan to use her for? Now that Miranda has been exposed, won't they be wanting to cover up the Academy?"

"I been thinkin' along those lines," Kaylee's voice was barely above a whisper. She could feel the dread starting to encroach on her – the dread of losing more than had already been lost. She tried to buck herself up. Hadn't she just told Simon the other day that the fear of loss didn't do much good? "I heard what the Cap'n said about your warrants though. So there's that. You an' River ain't fugitives no more."

Simon held her a little bit tighter. "Jū ān sī wēi," he muttered.

They adjusted themselves even more comfortably on the couch, settling into one another's embrace, and soon fell asleep.

* * *

Translations:

Shuāngxǐ – double happiness

Fǎn huà - ironic

Shì xiǎng - Just think/Imagine that

Jū ān sī wēi – (idiom) think of danger in times of safety/to be vigilant in peacetime


	6. Chapter 6

Serenity's engine, spinning reliably, sent a pattern of vibrations throughout the deck plates, the walls, the hull. Steady as a pulse, beating - the engine is a heart…

Heartbeat. Kaylee's dream kept pulling her back under. Slowly she became vaguely aware of a soft touch, her hair being stroked. She fought an internal battle between the heaviness of the dream, lulling her into total relaxation, and the desire to wake up. The heartbeat, she realized, was Simon's. She could feel his pulse through every point of contact between her body and his. The yellow couch was large but a bit cramped for two people – Kaylee was pressed between Simon and the couch back, one of her legs and an arm draped across him.

Her eyelids flickered.

"Hey," Simon whispered.

Kaylee shifted herself against him, still reviving, "Hey."

"Sleep well?"

"Mmm hmm," she lifted her head from his shoulder and he scooted his upper half as far as possible towards the edge of the couch so that they could be face-to-face, "Haven't slept that good in a while. Since we been to Miranda. And now the engine's been stopped an' all."

Simon looked at her questioningly.

"I'm so used to it when it's runnin', when it's not it feels like something's missin'. Guess my mind was elsewhere," she smiled a little shyly to herself and brushed her hair behind her ear, "I dreamed I was in the engine room, and everything was runnin' like normal. But I think it was you. Breathin' and your heart beatin'. Made it into my dream. I could get used to that."

He looked very pleased and took her hand, "Happy to oblige."

"What about you? Sleep okay I hope."

Simon nodded. He was looking at her in a way she couldn't read quite yet. Suddenly she was very aware of his fingers stroking the underside of her wrist and of her legs, entangled with his.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I have to apologize for something. Again. I seem to be doing that a fair bit lately," he seemed distressed.

"Well, whatever it is, it's past. Most like I already forgave ya for it," Kaylee said reassuringly. He opened his mouth as if to speak but just stared at her with awe. She suspected she already knew what he wanted to apologize for. Waking up with him on the couch, she'd been reminded of it herself. She poked him playfully in the chest, "You're thinkin' back to Canton. Go on, then. Let's hear it."

Simon laughed uneasily and rubbed his eye, "Alright, well…it's no excuse for what I said that morning, but once when I was seventeen something similar happened, with a girl. We fell asleep, in her room, and her parents found us. I remember her father's face – expressionless – it was menacing. When I saw Mal, staring me down the way he was, I felt like a flustered teenager all over again."

Kaylee ran a hand through his mussed hair, "Mal ain't my daddy. Don't let 'im intimidate you."

"I know, but he _can_ intimidate, you have to admit. And I didn't know him as well then," Simon sighed and smiled ruefully, "Anyway, I'm truly sorry."

Kaylee was about to answer when the captain's voice rang out from somewhere above, muffled but unmistakable, "Kaylee? Kaylee!" The second call sounded closer.

"Speak of the devil," Simon smirked. He started to get up but Kaylee stopped him. She propped herself up on one arm just as Mal's boots appeared on the stairs.

"Kaylee!" he called, coming into view. He halted a couple of steps before the bottom, assessing the scene in the common area, "…We got the work crew comin' in a half an hour. You gotta plan?"

"Shì Cap'n," she said with confidence, "We're doin' the landing gear today. And settin' up for the port jet tomorrow. Everything's shiny."

He grunted his assent, turning back up the stairs. "Thirty minutes," he said over his shoulder.

Kaylee suppressed a giggle. "I love my Captain," she said affectionately and lay back down. "So…if he hadn't woke us up that morning on Canton, wha'da'ya think woulda' happened?"

"I…I'm not sure," Simon stammered, "_I_ didn't even remember how we got to that bench. Clearly the drinking made me lose my inhibitions. But in the morning, I don't know what I would've done…I know what I secretly _wanted_ to do."

"Probly what _I_ secretly wanted to do," Kaylee arched an eyebrow, inviting him to show her.

With a glint of mischief in his eye, Simon pulled the blanket up over their heads, enclosing them in a dim, quiet cocoon of privacy. Or at least the illusion of privacy - any prying eyes would have no problem understanding what was going on beneath. He kissed her softly, eyes open, as if asking permission. Soon enough though, lips parted, tongues met, and they lost themselves in each other for several minutes. Again, however, for many reasons they were aware of the need to be careful not to get too carried away. Simon kissed her once more quickly while Kaylee pulled back the blanket for air.

"Simon Tam, proper boy like you, such improper thoughts runnin' through your head?" she teased, "How shocking." She arched herself against the pleasing pressure of Simon's leg sandwiched between hers.

"If you only knew," he ran his hand down, over her backside to the back of her thigh and pulled her even closer.

"Oh, I think I got a pretty good idea," Kaylee bit her bottom lip.

The sounds of morning on Serenity – people stirring, bunk hatches banging, footsteps on metal grating – started to come more frequently. Simon's eyes darted away from Kaylee's for a moment, no doubt anticipating the swish of River's door opening, which was becoming more and more likely after every minute that passed. Kaylee knew that Simon, capable of improper thoughts or no, would be disconcerted to say the least if his little sister were to catch them curled around each other as they were.

They disentangled themselves and Simon sat up slowly, wincing a little, watched by a concerned Kaylee. She slid off the couch and offered him a hand, pulling him to standing. She snagged his crutch from the floor for him, inquiring with her eyes as to his well-being.

"Thank you," Simon took the crutch, "I'm alright. Better than yesterday."

"Hǎo," Kaylee smiled, smoothing her skirt and silk jacket, and picked up the blanket to fold and put back.

"Kaylee…about Canton, and other times…I know that I've been…reserved, about intimacy in the past," Simon rubbed his collarbone, "River has teased me to no end. She always knew when I liked a girl. But I rarely acted on it. She used many more colorful words than 'reserved'," he added.

Kaylee cocked her head to the side sweetly, "Well, I ain't been above teasin' ya neither."

Simon smiled, "But at least you refrained from calling me things like a 'xián huì straight-laced jiǎ zhèng jīng prim'."

"That's what sisters are for. They can get away with it," Kaylee screwed her lips shut to keep from laughing. Simon's eyes narrowed, feigning insult, and she avoided his playful attempt to tickle her in the ribs for revenge.

"Duìbùqǐ, duìbùqǐ," she gave in, coming closer and taking his hand, "No, you're more zhèng jīng than jiǎ zhèng jīng. Like you told me once, bein' proper is a way to show respect. You're a gentleman. You're serious."

He cast his eyes downward, "Right, seriously conforming to the life that was prescribed for me. Become a brilliant doctor, stay in line, follow the rules of society and propriety…My life has certainly taken a turn. Falling in with pirates. I'm not the person I was on Osiris…And I'm learning. To be less reserved, thanks to you." He gave her a charming half-smile.

"I'll say," Kaylee leaned into him and pressed slow kisses to his neck, thinking of their interludes over the past few days. She could feel his sigh of pleasure vibrate against her lips, his hand at the small of her back. "Ya'know, my planet has 'rules of propriety' too. I know cuz I got in trouble for breakin' 'em. Even so, I never did see a reason to be ashamed about sex an' all." Kaylee pulled back quickly, curiosity all of a sudden about to boil over. She looked at him dubiously, "Simon, how many people you been with? You have…haven't you?"

He blinked, looking self-conscious, but after a second he spoke, "Have I slept with anyone? Yes. The girl I mentioned before, later on, we were nineteen. And there was a girl at MedAcad. But I was always so focused on school, then consumed by work, then preoccupied trying to get to River. And, I don't know, it's just how my life has gone…Why? How many have you…?"

"More'n two," was all Kaylee cared to say at the moment. She hoped he wouldn't have any qualms about her past exploits, but there wasn't enough time now to be getting much more into it. The work crew would be arriving soon. "I gotta go. Change outta these clothes. Y'okay?"

They locked eyes as Simon nodded, seemingly understanding the meaning behind her question. As if to affirm it further he slid his hand inside her jacket to rest it on her waist and brushed her lips with his, "I'll see you later?"

"Děng bù jí," Kaylee said as she stepped away, retrieving her flats and his shoes from under the couch. She set them down on the floor in front of their respective owners and they both slid them on, Simon leaning on his crutch for balance.

Sure enough, they heard River's door sliding open. She emerged wearing her standard attire of flow-y dress and combat boots and approached them serenely, without a sound despite the boots – a noticeable contrast to the clomping around overhead on the deck above.

"I need pants," River declared.

"Good morning to you too," Simon said dryly.

Kaylee giggled. "You wanna work with me again today?" Sometimes, now being one of them, she felt like she had a pretty good handle on deciphering River's typically blunt and cryptic speech, "You can borrow some'a mine."

She motioned for River to come with her and started for the stairs, waiting at the bottom when she saw Zoe descending.

"Mornin' Zoe," she said brightly.

"Mornin'." Zoe's reply was automatic. She made no eye contact as she brusquely passed.

Kaylee knew not to take it personally. She looked back to see if River was following but the girl was still standing where she'd left her, now staring at Zoe with her head tilted to the side, a curious expression on her face.

"Doctor, you got a minute?" Zoe called, eying River sidelong with suspicion.

"Of course," Simon nodded toward the infirmary.

"You…" River started.

Zoe turned, her countenance shifted from suspicion to fierce certainty directed at River who immediately clamped her mouth shut, swallowing whatever it was she was about to say. Kaylee cringed, glad not to be on the receiving end of Zoe's intense gaze – seemingly boring holes into River's eyes.

"River, sweetie," Zoe said, her placid tone barely concealing something more ominous beneath, "Sometimes people don't want their thoughts bein' said aloud by someone else. Actually, _most_ times."

"Jīn bu zhù," River countered.

"River…" Simon said her name in that brotherly way of giving a warning.

"I know it's not your fault you hear 'em, but if you put your mind to it to keep 'em to yourself…" Zoe answered River, "Just do me a favor, dǒng ma?"

River acquiesced, "Mò qì."

Kaylee suddenly wondered if _anything_ was private with River nearby. But one couldn't blame River for that – she couldn't help being a Reader.

"C'mon, let's go get ready," Kaylee touched River's arm with a hesitant smile. Simon looked at her with gratitude and mouthed the words '_thank you' _before following Zoe to the infirmary. Kaylee thought probably the first mate had also been waiting for Simon to return rather than go back up to the Alliance cruiser. But then why had she been so adamant about River keeping her mouth shut? T'weren't no shame in ripping stiches. Even Mal had had to come to Simon for that.

"Kaylee!" Mal's voice boomed down from above.

Kaylee's eyes widened – had it already been half an hour?! She bounded up the stairs, tailed closely by River.

* * *

Translations:

Shì – Yes

Hǎo – Good

Xián huì – chaste, virtuous

Jiǎ zhèng jīng – prudish, demure

Duìbùqǐ – Sorry

Zhèng jīng – decent, honorable, proper, serious

Děng bù jí – Can't wait

Jīn bu zhù – can't help it, can't bear it

Dǒng ma? – Understand?

Mò qì – secret agreement, to understand without being stated

* * *

To be continued


End file.
